Personal Perspectives on World Mental Health Day
Opinion Piece by Tala Al Otaibi
October 10th, 2020
Trigger warning: this article discusses the stories of individuals who struggle with their mental health and the content may be triggering.
World Mental Health Day, initiated by the World Federation for Mental Health (WFMH) in 1992, is celebrated every year with the objective and aim of raising mental health awareness. The celebration of this Day provides opportunities for those in the field to talk about their work as well as spread awareness on what needs to be done in order to enhance mental health care for everyone globally.
It is no secret that mental health is stigmatized and that seeking the needed help is quite often difficult as a result. Education on issues pertaining to mental health is only the first step needed to be taken in order to eradicate the stigma that currently exists. For the last several decades, WFMH has tackled many themes every year on World Mental Health Day. Those include mental health in relation to women, children, aging, human rights, trauma, and many more.
A mistake that often occurs in society today is the dehumanization of mental health and the struggles that people go through, despite the fact that it is something that may affect every single one of us, with no exception to gender, race, ethnicity, nationality, or educational and socioeconomic backgrounds. Oftentimes, it may be a topic we cannot understand unless we experience it ourselves.
For over almost 7 years, I have struggled with my mental health. I was only 13 when I first started to experience depressive symptoms and had no idea what all of it meant. I was a confused kid in need of guidance but had no one to seek help from. As the years went by, I dedicated much of my time to learning about what I was going through in hopes of trying to understand it. Throughout all that time, I went through phases where life was going great and others where everything came crashing down. It was only until I was 19 that I hit rock bottom and was advised to seek professional help. From there, I drove myself to a psychiatrist expecting a specific answer. When I received my Major Depressive Disorder and OCD diagnoses, I was not shocked. I spent so much time reading about them and trying to understand myself that I knew exactly what it was. The last thing I expected, however, was my ADHD diagnosis. It shook me to my core, and I still struggle to process until now. My recovery journey has not been easy, and I do not expect it to become easy any time soon. Nonetheless, I know that I will continue to fight and dedicate my time to spread awareness about causes that are as close to my heart as this one.
In order to do so, I have decided to ask 8 strong individuals to share little bits of their mental health journey with me…
Sarah Slik – 25 years old
I have been depressed for about 6 to 7 years now. I did not know that I was depressed through most of that time. I always assumed that it was a phase. I was in denial and thought it would go away but, as my appetite grew smaller and my self-esteem got lower, nightmares would not stop; even when they were not there, my insomnia was. I felt like I was sinking in a hole I just could not get out of until I eventually hit rock bottom and felt like I had no reason to continue or strength to fight anymore. It took the right environment and friends to push me to seek help and, in that moment, I felt strong and mostly brave. Brave not because not a lot of people can do it and go through therapy, but because I stood up to my own demons. My demons are so strong, and they control me but, in that moment, I was in control. I have only been going to therapy for a little over 6 months now and it has been rough being diagnosed with severe trauma and major depressive disorder and learning about all the things that have caused them and led me to where I am today, but it is always going to get harder and harder before it gets better. I am looking forward to imagining a better future - a future where I can be happy and be who I am without the pressure of society, culture, religion, family, friends, and, mostly, expectations. I am hopeful.
Anonymous – 21 years old
I am okay right now. You would think that that would make me happy, that now that I finally feel okay, I would be at peace. I am not, though. It took me a while to try and understand why I hate feeling okay. I realized that depression just does that to you. It convinces you that you do not deserve to be okay. I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder in 2020. I was not surprised; I was expecting it. The diagnosis made a lot of things clear to me, and it validated me. I realized that because of it, I do not know what true happiness feels like. Any happiness I feel is followed by guilt. How could I have depression and still feel okay? Why am I not feeling sad? Why am I not feeling at all? That is when it became clear to me. I am not okay, I am numb. For me to feel happiness, I would have to allow myself to feel. I am not quite sure that I am ready to do that, not again. I am not sure why I feel this guilt whenever I feel okay, or even happy. I am not sure why I feel like I do not deserve it. Sometimes I think it is because I am running away from my feelings, which I am right now. A lot has happened in the past month that I have not processed yet. I did not even tell my best friends about it. That is just it though, I am either running away from the feeling or letting it take over. Both are exhausting. If I am being honest, I need a break. So, I will pretend that those feelings are not there just for a little bit longer. Then when I am ready, I will talk. I just have to keep surviving until I am ready to seek professional help again. I can do that, I hope.
Mohammad Hashem – 20 years old
I have struggled with mental health during my first year of university. The pressure of doing well and balancing a social life, as well as leaving my family back home at Saudi, was very tough to handle. I felt anxious and depressed a lot of the time and I really had no way of dealing with it. I failed a couple of courses and went into probation. I have been through a lot since then, but I just remember that, if I keep moving forward and break down responsibilities to small pieces, it is much more manageable.
Anonymous – 25 years old
In August 2014, I attended my first year of college at Parsons School of Design, New York. This was the first time I was away from home. I do not know exactly what happened, but I gradually became really aloof and depressed. Maybe it was home sickness or just the overwhelming atmosphere of New York, but I lost my purpose in life. It was not until a year later that I realized the severity of my condition. I spent most of days crying and lying alone in my room. I lost the will to live. It was the most difficult time of my life. Most people associate depression with sadness, but for me it was the lack of vitality. With depression, every emotion felt meaningless. The only feeling left in this state is insignificance. I just could not figure out what was happening with me. I finally gave up and decided to just go back to family. I was later diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. For over a year, I went through multitudes of therapies and medications. I recovered, but I feel that it will always remain a part of me.
Blandine Maillard – 22 years old
“Never lose control” are the words that constantly circled in my mind at the peak of my eating disorder. Being a perfectionist, naturally, in a society that glamorizes thinness, food and my body became my next points of control; counting, weighing, hiding, restricting, and compensating became obsessions of mine, digging myself deeper into self-sabotaging nothingness. Undereating felt safe because, in my head, I thought, “at least I wwould not gain weight.”Intercalating between periods of restriction and weight loss came the body’s natural survival response to starvation - the polar opposite extreme: overindulgence and binging. I was trapped in this alternating cycle (restricting, binging, guilt, REPEAT) that left me feeling ashamed to seek help, fearing the uncertainty that was awaiting me if I decided to recover, simply because I would be facing my deepest fear – losing control. Food and my perception of my body governed my every decision and, inevitably, my social relationships suffered. “What ifs” clouded my rational judgment for seven years, but finally reaching my breaking point and opening up a few months ago was the best thing I could have done for myself.I found an abundance of support. Recovery is hard and non-linear. Rewiring a brain that has been conditioned to function in a certain way for half its life requires effort (and pitfalls), but it is worth it. Understanding that food is fuel, honoring my hunger, eating intuitively, and eliminating this unhealthy obsession of attaining a certain body ideal has been liberating. I have never been in a better place with regards to my relationship with food. Life is too short not to eat cake at a birthday party!
Anonymous – 23 years old
I have an obsession with over-analyzing almost everything I encounter throughout the day. This usually leads to me staying up many hours past my bedtime. In addition, I have strong will for and addiction to pushing every act of my life to the limit. This include extreme levels of driving, eating (having absurd amounts of food), dieting (restricting myself to unhealthy amounts), or even sleeping the least amount possible. It is quite entertaining for me and I cannot seem to ever take the easy or safe way out. I never really understood where all this stems from. It could be a constant anxiety that I just got accustomed to living with.
Hibah Ali
I got diagnosed with major depressive disorder in the year 2018. I knew what I was feeling was not normal, but I kept pushing it aside until it became unbearable, with a failed statistics exam bringing me over the edge. I remember going home that day crying to my parents, when they finally decided that I needed professional help. I remember sitting in that office shaking and breaking the psychiatrist’s pencil holder by accident. It was that day, in his office, that I learnt my diagnosis. I remember him drawing a diagram on a piece of paper explaining the biological and social factors that led to the state I was in. Learning my diagnosis was one of the heaviest things I endured. MDD seemed like another word for failure, but I learnt that, sometimes, it needs to get worse before it gets better. I am proud of my journey to becoming the person I am today. There is still a long way to go but, I am so grateful for the professional help and empathy I received that day because it shaped me to the person I am now, and I kind of like that person.
Anonymous – 19 years old
Depression is a dark place. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety when I was 12 years old. It hit the hardest after I witnessed my best friend’s death a few years back. One thing I have learnt is that you are never alone. no matter how much it may feel like it, there is always someone, somewhere out there struggling and probably thinking that they are alone, too. Mental health is so important. Do not let the stigma and taboos make you afraid to speak up or seek help. It is okay not to be okay. Talk to someone; it does more than you can imagine. We are all fighting our own battles, and you will get through whatever you are going through. Depression is still a dark place. Just because you cannot see it, it does not mean that the light at the end of the tunnel does not exist.
The stories you read above are only a few of many that go untold. Mental health is real and physical. It affects you in ways you would have never thought of. Awareness needs to be raised for the people that have struggled for far too long without talking about it and without reaching out for the help they needed. Awareness on mental health issues is a global effort that starts from within every one of us. To every person that has struggled, to every person that knows someone who struggled, to every person that lost someone they loved as a result of mental health struggles, World Mental Health Day is for you.
You are not alone.