Escapism: the Lebanese coping method

Opinion Analysis by Taleen Gharib, Staff Writer

September 5th, 2020

A share button is all it takes for a fragment of your life to leave its mark on the internet. A lunch date with friends. A day off work. Some ‘me time’. For the people to get a glance at your point of view, it is only a click away. Only a few months into quarantine, our lives have become highly dependent on the online world. Although it was quite the nice escape from the outside world for a while, the worldwide web has proved its importance in providing a platform for sharing information: from political to economical to medical to environmental.

Despite the importance of social media platforms as a means to raise awareness and support movements all over the world, hashtag activism has never been as prevalent as in recent years—and 2020 takes the cake. From the Coronavirus to the worst economic recession since 2008 to murder hornets and speculation on the beginning of World War III, 2020 was quite the eventful year. With many being at home, due to the pandemic and thus spending more time on their phones, people began to see the disasters that go on around the world for the first time. Social media shifted from just a platform to share memes and post pictures of outings (a little ignorant bubble, if you will), it transformed into an outlet for activism, now more than ever.

On August 4th, the clocks stopped at 6:07pm for the people of Lebanon. News broke out that created shock waves in the entire world: Beirut port explosion, one of the largest the world has ever seen. Beirut was trending on all social media platforms all over the world.

With little to no time for mourning, the people were on the streets to clean up what was left of their beloved Beirut. International aid was immediately sent to save the already (now literally) crumbling country. Naturally, social media platforms were swarmed with posts about what was happening in Lebanon. Accounts were created to help find missing persons. NGOs were creating doodle links and sign-up sheets for volunteers to help on the streets. For weeks, every social media platform only talked about Beirut. However, amidst those posts were a few black sheep.

Escapism: the Lebanese way of coping?

Escapism: the tendency to seek distraction and relief from unpleasant realities. And it is very often seen on social media.

Among the many Instagram stories talking about donating to the Lebanese Red Cross, volunteering for clean-ups and creating donation boxes were a few posts of outings, dinner dates and happy birthday posts. This sparked outrage and an ongoing debate. Many defended those who made such posts, claiming that it was a coping method.

In an exclusive interview with The Phoenix Daily, psychotherapist, Rouba Khaddaj, broke it down for us. “Escapism comes in many forms. Drinking is a form of escapism. Going out for a change of scenery is a form of escapism. It is an effective short-term coping method.”

“Your logical brain does not tell you ‘I have to go out and do something to escape’. This is a coping strategy. It’s healthy, but you can’t rely on it. You are escaping, not confronting. You must face the problem.”

Lebanon has witnessed its fair share of tragedies. Our parents and grandparents have lived through years of war and civil unrest, and our understanding of mental health is heavily influenced by the way we were raised. We come from a society where the word “basita”, a simple term that shrugs off and deems any kind of mishap irrelevant (for our sake, apparently), is so overused that it has become an automated response to anything that goes wrong.

“If one can avoid exposing their children from trauma, it would be wonderful. However, one can’t avoid talking about certain things with their kids. Like gain, we have loss. Like life, we have death. The biggest problem in our culture: we don’t know anything about emotional intelligence. We do not teach our kids to be emotionally intelligent.”

Khaddaj further explained, “for example, when a child cries to their parents, the immediate responses are: ‘big kids don’t cry’ or ‘you shouldn’t be crying, stop it’ or ‘nothing is wrong with you, you’re not upset’. This is completely wrong. When we start teaching our kids to understand and express their feelings, we will know how to validate their emotions. They will then understand what it means for someone to be upset, to be in pain, to lose someone.”

Of course, there are ways to deliver such information to children without unintentionally exposing them to trauma.

As the new generation, we were raised in this safe little bubble. A protective shield that distanced us from the years of suffering our country endured and continues to endure, and the older we grew, the more we could see beyond the fogginess of that bubble. Escapism is so deeply embedded in our society that when we reach the point of awareness of what is going on around us, we retreat back into that bubble.

Ultimately, this has brought our generation to the current issue: in times of devastation, is escapism the way to go? And in regards to social media, what is considered appropriate to post? What is insensitive?

Escapism has dug this hole that all Lebanese people find themselves at the bottom of:

“Lebanese are resilient.” 

“We will rise like the phoenix.”

“Nothing can break us.”

And although good intentions lie behind such phrases, they tamper with people’s acceptance of reality. 

On the smaller scale, something as simple as sharing an Instagram story or post that has nothing to do with the situation, particularly in such a sensitive period post-explosion, is not only insensitive and affects those who are living the reality, but also negatively impacts the person making the post.

This does not in any way invalidate escapism as a coping method. According to psychologists, it is healthy and normal. Just as many found cleaning the streets and providing help to those in need therapeutic, others escaped the destroyed city. However, acknowledging it as a temporary coping method is necessary. How long must we escape the Lebanese reality?

So, on a larger scale, one must consider the following: to what extent does this effect Lebanon? How does this Lebanese way of coping affect the future of our country and the progression of the revolution? If escapism is a norm, when will our people face reality?