Nina Abdel Malak: A Victim of Internalized Misogyny?

Opinion Analysis by Tala Majzoub, Staff Writer

October 26th, 2020

In one of their latest YouTube videos labelled “النسوية feminism - مع - ضد - ليش - شو في”, Lebanese singer Nina Abdel Malak and her husband Hassan Alsheikh discuss their outlooks on feminism, or rather “النسويه يللي عمال تغسل في عقول المراهقات وسلبياتها أكثر من ايجابياتها”. 

Before the episode took off, Hassan Al Alskheikh was quick to set the pace for what was to follow when he silences YouTube commenters, urging the female audience to – “روحي وعبري عن شعورك ببيت أبوكي إذا سمحلك تحكي” – go and express themselves in their father’s houses, that is, if he allows them to speak, and doesn’t turn them to a Mona Lisa poster on the wall for being vocal about their views. Bearing this introductory comment in mind, what follows attempts to decipher some of Nina’s comments on feminism, and the implications their carry along with them. 

Recap of the episode: What is Nina’s stance?

First and foremost, Nina insists that she does not identify with the feminist movement at all. She abhorrently denies any sort of association what-so-ever to the feminist movement. Throughout the episode, Nina and Hassan complain that there are “zibilyar” definition to feminism, consequently concluding that we must come up with one specific definition, the same way there is one book by God that we must all abide by and follow.  

In essence, Nina’s main argument was that God created men and women as two separate entities, and this distinction in and of itself implies completely different roles and responsibilities: “لا يجوز إنو يكون في تساوي بين الإثنين”. Nina maintains that a woman’s fundamental role is to be a mother. A woman’s main purpose in life is to reproduce and raise children “شغلتها الأولى إنو تتكاثر وتربي”. 

Nina continues to question why feminists seem to be ever-so furious with men “غضبانين من الرجال والحياة “, when God gave women the most holy role. She wonders why some women would rather excel in the workforce than raise a family, arguing that women who focus too much on their careers end up feeling empty when they are fifty years old since this was never their intrinsic role to begin with “هيدي مش وظيفتك”.

To get a clearer grasp of Nina’s stance, it might be helpful to observe some of her earlier comments pertaining to feminism. In Nina and Hassan’s video from January 2020 titled

“مطلقين , منفصلين , بعاد عن بعض”, Nina explains how women sometimes convince their children that their husbands physically abused them, without sharing the man’s side of the story, thereby enticing the children to take the women’s side:

يعني أنا يمكن اقنع ولادي إنو ضربني بس أنا ما قلت لولدي لش ضربني، يمكن كون خنتو أو هنتو يعني في غلط من الطرفين بس تركز الغلط على المظلوم أو الحابب يكون مظلوم فهيك بكون ظلم الطرف الثاني وأخد الولاد

Is Nina brainwashed, ignorant, or simply opinionated?

Nina maligns feminists as the enemy because they challenge the patriarchal status quo that she seems to have internalized. While I respect that a good number of women today still maintain Nina’s perspective on traditional gender roles, it is important to acknowledge that they are opinions, not universal truths. Nina makes multiple generalizations and speaks as though there exists no alternative to her perspective. By doing so, and by nonchalantly undermining feminism to an angry movement that spreads “hate towards men”, Nina epitomizes internalized misogyny. 

Internalized misogyny is not uncommon, as patriarchal standards still lurk in the back of the minds of even the most driven feminists, and it will take time to reverse them. The key is to acknowledge them and to point out their limitations. Nina has fallen so deep into the rabbit hole that she even justifies domestic abuse to preserve the father’s dignity. She does not seem to realize how far her subconscious mind has absorbed the misogyny and sexism. Or maybe she does and she’s made peace with it, and this is far more dangerous. 

“Masculine and feminine roles are not biologically fixed, but socially constructed” – 

Judith Butler

For Nina, when women’s demand for equality transcends the idea that they are a subversive gender, their feminism becomes “too much”. Nina does not explicitly call women the inferior gender, instead she praises women for being able to carry on the roles of the “mother and the father” in the household. This may sound empowering on the surface level, but when you demand that there shouldn’t be equality between the two genders, or that women have one ultimate purpose to fulfill, you are infringing on women’s choice to own their lives.

Today, women have new priorities for themselves: education, a good job, an impressive pay-check, making good investments for a secure future. Why doesn’t Nina approve of women who choose their careers over matrimony or motherhood? This financial independence reduces dependency on the opposite gender, thereby blurring the lines between the two completely separate roles Nina has attributed for men and women in her mind. 

However, this stereotyping does nothing but push men and women into unwanted alliances, and opt for matrimony not because they want to, but because they have to. As we probably know by now, marriage and motherhood are not the only goals for a woman, she can find fulfillment in her own company. She can dedicate her life to her career, or follow her passion, and that is what defines her, not her choice to stay unwed or her choice to bear children. With more and more women choosing to remain single and not have children because then society demands that they stay at home to raise them, time has come to challenge these social pressures more enthusiastically. Motherhood is a choice, not a compulsion. 

I believe this to be the core of feminism: equality and choice. Empowerment not only about education and employment but the ownership of one’s own life and not accepting societal gender roles that might chain you. Similarly, equality means no discrimination based on gender, class or race and complete freedom to do whatever one wants. Until we achieve that, equality can never be too much. Until we achieve that, “راح نبقى”غاضبين من الحياة. 

Is feminism an obligation? 

Nina does not realize that she has reaped the benefits of past feminist efforts. She is a female singer with a huge follower base. She has a voice (literally and figuratively) and she is able to discuss controversial matters on multiple accessible platforms. This wouldn’t have been realistic years back, and we have feminist efforts to thank for this. 

Following the same line of logic then, the same way a woman’s role in life is her very own decision, women can choose whether or not to identify with feminism. However, for it to even be a choice in the first place, women need to really understand the complexity of internalized misogyny and the constituents of feminist fight that is very much alive with us today. Nina clearly exemplifies her ignorance on the movement in this episode. I am not saying all women have to be feminists, but I firmly believe that all women must at least train themselves to see the patriarchal chains. How are you to form an opinion if you’re wearing your rose-colored glasses? Ignorance is not always bliss.