Women in Displacement - Stories of Syrian Refugees in Lebanon

Opinion piece by Carla Akil, Visiting Contributor

July 4th, 2021

Since the main focus of war is men, the high costs that women and children bear as a result of war are often overlooked. In 2013, a documentary film by Lebanese filmmaker Carol Mansour entitled ‘Not Who We Are’ was released to tell the stories of the women who fled Syria during the war in order to seek refuge in Lebanon. Indeed, this film provides an insight on the impact of the refugee experience on women and has done so by telling the stories of five different women. Afra’a, Umm Omar, Umm Raed, Samar, and Siham shared their experiences of loss, displacement, and daily struggles in a harsh and often unfriendly environment. They opened up about their hardships including issues of intimacy and sexuality as well as their hopes and fears for the future. Not only were they forced to leave their homes and loved ones behind in Syria, but also, they faced discrimination, disempowerment, and violence in Lebanon.

This film highlighted various ways in which armed conflict could affect Syrian refugee women in Lebanon, one of which is lack of privacy. Because rent is typically too expensive in the heart of Beirut, many refugees share apartments in order to reduce expenses. With this comes lack of privacy, especially when four or five people share the same apartment as in the case of Afra’a. This is also an issue for families that live in tents with no proper infrastructure, as in the case of Umm Omar and Umm Raed. Indeed, they shared how five families were only separated by a curtain. Siham also suffered from the same issue, but for completely different reasons. After her husband was shot dead right in front of his family’s eyes, her daughters became overly attached to her. She explained the way she feels – it’s as if she does not exist as an entity in herself, as a human being on her own because she can never have a few minutes of privacy to herself or any alone time.

The refugee experience may also impact women’s romantic relationships. Indeed, Afra’a shared how she is unable to think of the future both in terms of life goals and personal relationships. For her, life is too uncertain and unstable to build relationships. Because each person has their own worries and are unsettled, they cannot act ‘normally’ in relationships. Umm Omar and Umm Raed also shared how the lack of privacy leaves no room for private moments with their husbands. Moreover, they used to take care of their appearances and their clothes for their husbands back in Syria, but they no longer had the heart to do so once they were in Lebanon. This issue resonates with that of Samar who no longer desires sexual intercourse with her husband. Although she is emotionally uncomfortable with it, she would force herself to give her husband what he wants. She went as far as going to the pharmacy in order to get pills to boost her libido, and thus, enjoy sexual relations once again.

 Not only can armed conflict affect refugee women, but also children. Early marriage is one of the many ways in which armed conflict can have drastic effects on children. Indeed, Majed’s (2020) article highlighted the direct link between child marriage and war and violence regarding economic survival. This issue is reflected in Samar’s story in the film - a 36-year-old mother of five, who thought it would be best to marry off her daughters in their teenage years. Samar shared that before the crisis, she said to herself that she would never marry her daughters off before they had completed their education. However, since they cannot afford to buy basic necessities nor can they go back to Syria any time soon, she finds no other alternative option but to wed them. Although it troubles her and her husband, her 16-year-old daughter was to marry a 23-year-old Lebanese man and her 14-year-old daughter was to marry a 27-year-old Lebanese man.

 The lack of vision for the future drastically impacts both women and the youth. By the end of the film, Umm Omar and Umm Raed express how every day is the same in the sense that there is no room for progress. You wake up, eat breakfast, watch over the children, gather, sleep, and repeat. Siham said that nothing could break her, and she thinks that there wouldn’t have been a reason to continue if it wasn’t for her daughters. Afra’a believes that the inability to make decisions due to uncertainty is “a phase of lost time that we should spend as youth”. While refugee women may feel like there is no point in aspiring for the future, children may face the same issue in terms of opportunities. As mentioned in Majed’s (2019) chapter on youth marginalization, there is a cycle of social reproduction that occurs in low-income families, whereby when someone is born into a poor family, it is difficult for them to improve their social conditions because they are stuck in this never-ending cycle. Social mobility becomes more difficult when someone gets poor education.

I believe that the most important takeaway from this film is addressing the perception of Syrian refugee women in Lebanon, because it is an unfair representation of refugee women as a whole. Samar talks about how Syrian women are commonly perceived as those who would be willing to abide by anything and get very little in return. If a Lebanese man comes from a poor background and has very little to offer, he is told to marry a Syrian woman. If a man is a bit old and is looking for a bride, he is told to marry a Syrian woman. Samar says it is never about marrying the daughter off because if parents had the option not to do so, they wouldn’t have done it. She says: “we are not like that, but we have to be like that,”, which truly reflects the dilemma that parents are continuously faced with. Furthermore, she talks about the perception of Syrian women as frivolous and uncaring, to an extent that Syrian women are treated as if they are prostitutes.

All in all, ‘Not Who We Are’ is a documentary film that sheds light on the effect of war and displacement on refugee women who fled Syria to go to Lebanon amid the refugee crisis. Throughout the film, five women share the hardships that they faced, including discrimination, disempowerment, and violence. It is evident that the life of a refugee is that of uncertainty, unsteadiness, and fear in Lebanon. Although this film was released in 2013, Syrian refugee women are still struggling to rebuild their lives from scratch today. It is unfortunate that the problem is still persistent, if not exacerbated. While this film clearly highlights the daily struggles of women and children, I believe that there are still struggles that have yet to be explored, such as sex trafficking and lack of access to proper education. Despite some of them being sensitive topics, delving into the experiences of these women that are facing such struggles would be worthwhile as it may put these issues on the international map and would empower these women to speak up and fight for their rights.